Real Talk: Men Cheat, But Women Lie.

Dear Abina,

I have been following your blog and I absolutely love it. It’s just that I am noticing that women publish their stories more than man do. I do want to make sure that readers are equally informed about men and women’s feelings and experiences.

I have heard the comment so many times: ‘black men, can’t handle real women, because we always seem to cheat and mistreat. Truth is: we are most of the time insecure. We cheat to find out if we still control the game, which ‘real’ women call love. This has nothing to do with the women whom we are with, although we seem to make this statement to our women. Ladies, know this: when a man cheats, it has nothing to do with you. It has all to do with him. But, there comes a point in a man’s life where he realizes that playing a certain game, which is cheating, is in his disatvantage, so we grow up. Once we get out of the cycle of cheating, we stop and become an honest man, most of the time. That’s when we look for the real woman. But women, keep lying, regardless. Women can lie to make a man stay with them. They can manipulate so much. When women cheat, they cheat with a lie. And this never changes. I find this more dangerous than the cycle we keep getting ourselves into. We cheat, cause we know there’s a lie somewhere.

So next time when mistakes of black men are being adressed. Let’s make sure we include a woman’s lie. Cause it’s always there.

Abina, I want you to speak.


Edwin K. (London, UK)

  1. Keyshia said:

    This is BS! Let's take a a look at the roles of men and women in general. Man have more of an ability to be controlling and call the shots. Women end up giving up more for a relationship than men. So much. Where does the lie fit in?

  2. I understand that you want to talk on behalf of black men. You black men are wrong with cheating in the first place. Seeing love as a game is wrong anyway. That is where all misery comes from. We, women end up with this misery. Y'all continue with your game. You're unfair

  3. Honey, You're the man with the issue. Now you're looking for a real woman and leaving them ho's. Remember that Karma is gonna show up looking like the girl next door and she's gonna mess you up. You know it. That's why your ass is insecurr

  4. My Ladies, Don't take it personal. I aggree with Edwin. Once a woman cheats, she leaves the story covered for ages. When a man cheats, it's just the cheating. The lies of a woman weighs heavier. It's hard to know the good women from the bad. I think that Abina should take a man's opinion into consideration.

  5. Perfect piece of work you have done, this web site is really cool with good information.

Thank you for you comment. Be blessed. ABINA

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